Introduction
If you’ve watched any La Liga matches in the past or have watched some highlights video where a dude goes absolutely nuts over anything Messi does, then you’ve probably watched a soccer game with Ray Hudson commentary. My friend, Dylan, and I have fallen victim to a multitude of Hudson’s commentary tracks, and to be frank, we don’t really like him very much. He is over-dramatic and just downright distracting, making these extraordinarily wild comments that take attention away from the game. His oddball similes and weird metaphors never fail to leave a confused expression of “was that really necessary?” on our faces.
However, hard as this is to admit, Ray Hudson may be a literary genius, a master wordsmith, and an individual worthy of our respect. Thus far, out of the games and highlights that we’ve seen, Ray Hudson has not yet repeated a simile or metaphor. This begs the question of whether he is coming up with these sporadically on the spot or if he has a pre-determined pool of similes and phrases he draws from. To answer this question, I will scrape a bunch of transcripts from Ray Hudson highlight commentary tracks and interviews from YouTube, perform a set of analysis to determine if there are overlaps, and analyze these results. If Ray Hudson really does never repeat his cringe-worthy literary idiosyncrasies, then Dylan and I will be forced to acknowledge that he is truly a literary giant and not just an annoying commentator who has a stroke every time Messi does anything. However, perhaps we may also expose him to be a fraud that lacks originality. We shall see.
Methods and Results
Grabbing the Data
I first use the YouTube API to get all videos that involve Ray Hudson commentary. These consist of interviews with him that have ‘Ray Hudson’ in the title as well as La Liga highlights from 2019 – 2021. Note that, since we can only get highlights and other content posted on the BeIn sports YouTube channel, we will be looking at a small cross-section of commentary tracks and games. This study will thus be a cross-sectional analysis that should generalize to the full commentaries and other interviews and media.
There is a bit of trickery in this, as some La Liga highlight videos are nice and easy and contain “La Liga Highlights” in their title, while others only contain team names. Thus I just put all the La Liga teams in those seasons into a .txt file and look through video titles to find videos where they are mentioned.
However, another funny little quirk that arises is that women’s games highlights and Copa Libertadores games that involve “Barcelona SC” end up getting pulled in. Ray Hudson does not do commentary for either of those. I can just filter those out of our final output and call it a day.
Now that I have the videos I want, I can then scrape their transcripts. However, the YouTube transcripts returned are typically auto-generated, and thus are just a bunch of gibberish. I utilize a BERT model that predicts where punctuation ought to be in unpunctuated transcripts to repopulate my blob-o-text transcript. This is how the transformation looks:
##### WITHOUT PUNCTUATION
this is a wonderful show of class from hetafa as they applaud the quote by del rio winners [Applause] the guard of honor nice and it has been controversial with certain madrid teams doing that for barcelona but itafe has a couple of farsa players of their own one way threading it into that inner channel knotted away by iglesias and suarez trying to collapse messi at the top of the 18 off the underside of the crossbar and somehow it didn't go in brilliant from antoine griezmann beautiful streak and again messi blissed as the crossbar and raises blisters on that solid steel it's a wonderful setup from antoine griezmann that you don't get a good look at here and that's very close
##### WITH PUNCTUATION
this is a wonderful show of class from hetafa as they applaud the quote by del rio winners [Applause] the guard of honor, nice. and it has been controversial with certain madrid teams doing that for barcelona. but itafe has a couple of farsa players of their own, one way threading it into that inner channel, knotted away by iglesias and suarez, trying to collapse. messi at the top of the 18, off the underside of the crossbar and somehow it didn't go in. brilliant from antoine griezmann, beautiful streak and again messi blissed as the crossbar and raises blisters on that solid steel. it's a wonderful setup from antoine griezmann that you don't get a good look at here and that's very close. With my transcripts nice and punctuated, I can now begin our actual analysis. It should be noted that these transcripts are imperfect and oftentimes auto-generated, so we will get funny and weird phrases and misspellings. Some odd offensive phrases may also show up, so just be wary of that.
Simile Analysis
To fully understand Ray Hudson’s literary gift (or lack thereof), I need to look at both similes with metaphors. Metaphors are hard, similes are easy, so I start with similes. We will start by grabbing out all the similes.
I simply take sentences with the phrase “like” and isolate the back half of the clause. For example, if a simile is “The bird was like a feather in the wind”, then I will retain “a feather in the wind”.
I perform two tests to determine how “original” each simile is. I use a part-of-speech tagger to tag all of the simile clauses. Then, I retain the nouns for each entry and count the frequency of them. The later test that will be performed is a simile sentence distance metric that will quantify how similar in structure and word-choice his similes are.
Simile Noun Analysis Results
Performing these steps, I observe the following final nouns:
Counter({'man': 4, 'shark': 3, 'team': 3, 'fish': 2, 'ghost': 2, 'fog': 2, 'dentist': 2, 'skirt': 2, 'boot': 2, 'back': 2, 'alligator': 2, 'penalty': 2, 'home': 2, 'ball': 2, 'feeling': 2, 'way': 2, 'bear': 2, 'trap': 2, 'diamond': 2, 'necklace': 2, 'baby': 2, 'tank': 1, 'week': 1, 'jack': 1, 'rabbit': 1, 'date': 1, 'whites': 1, 'barcelona': 1, 'spandex': 1, 'beach': 1, 'degrees': 1, 'rain': 1, 'wind': 1, 'bloodhound': 1, 'center': 1, 'goal': 1, 'softness': 1, 'candlelight': 1, 'knife': 1, 'thrower': 1, 'circus': 1, 'teenager': 1, 'cell': 1, 'phone': 1, 'goalkeeper': 1, 'turtle': 1, 'shower': 1, 'arrows': 1, 'itch': 1, 'one': 1, 'teams': 1, 'field': 1, 'advantage': 1, 'plumbing': 1, 'product': 1, 'list': 1, 'brother': 1, 'halt': 1, 'basketball': 1, 'sweaty': 1, 'armpits': 1, 'baseball': 1, 'maniac': 1, 'possess': 1, 'veins': 1, 'neck': 1, 'strangers': 1, 'hair': 1, 'tears': 1, 'size': 1, 'pineapple': 1, 'chunks': 1, 'jubilation': 1, 'ribcage': 1, 'moment': 1, 'rapture': 1, 'magnet': 1, 'train': 1, 'hospital': 1, 'tricks': 1, 'nursing': 1, 'Cave': 1, 'lumps': 1, 'coal': 1, 'surfer': 1, 'mushroom': 1, 'belief': 1, 'spider': 1, 'monkey': 1, 'planet': 1, 'belly': 1, 'heavenly-': 1, 'sitters': 1, 'cat': 1, 'boy': 1, 'seashore': 1, 'pebbles': 1, 'shells': 1, 'portion': 1, 'truth': 1, 'turkey': 1, 'season': 1, 'spirit': 1, 'hurt': 1, 'sledgehammers': 1, 'lion': 1, 'cub': 1, 'mouth': 1, 'championship': 1, 'finals': 1, 'curtain': 1, 'career': 1, 'claret': 1, 'vintner': 1, 'peregrine': 1, 'falcon': 1, 'peacock': 1, 'display': 1, 'plumage': 1, 'skydiver': 1, 'rip': 1, 'cord': 1, 'parachute': 1, 'need': 1, 'day': 1, 'kids': 1, 'remembereth': 1, 'name': 1, 'football': 1, 'cap': 1, 'dolphin': 1, 'greco': 1, 'roman': 1, 'bird': 1, 'cheerleader': 1, 'trampoline': 1, 'prom': 1, 'dress': 1, 'cuckoo': 1, 'clock': 1, 'shade': 1, 'mirror': 1, 'pauper': 1, 'gladiator': 1, 'owl': 1, 'eyes': 1, 'tiger': 1, 'pair': 1, 'carpet': 1, 'slippers': 1, 'pressure': 1, 'issue': 1, 'tale': 1, 'horror': 1, 'movie': 1, 'black': 1, 'couple': 1, 'gunslingers': 1, 'rainbow': 1, 'splendor': 1, 'studio': 1, 'steroids': 1, 'mirrors': 1, 'gamble': 1, 'lane': 1, 'fire': 1, 'steel': 1, 'times': 1, 'hornet': 1, 'nest': 1, 'lamb': 1, 'corner': 1, 'firecracker': 1, 'kick': 1, 'storm': 1, 'cake': 1})There are some fairly outlandish ones in there… I remove the nouns that simply occur in common speech, such as ‘man’ or ‘team’ and then plot the frequency of each. I observe the following output:
Already, Hudson is not looking like a literary genius. Shark is mentioned three times. When I go search for whether ‘shark’ is used in conjunction with another noun, I discover that ‘shark’ and ‘dentist’ are actually mentioned together twice. If I search for the transcript that uses these two phrases, I get something quite concerning.
Real Betis vs. Barcelona
first of all, and once it gets to messi, he needs help like a shark needs a dentist.Barcelona vs. Huesca
he leaves the defender with twisted blood on his turn and he's got options left and right, but he needs help like a shark needs a dentist.Two very different transcripts from two very different games, yet one simile is shared. Not looking good for Hudson.
This isn’t the only offense. Hudson repeats another simile.
Real Sociedad vs Barcelona | LALIGA HIGHLIGHTS | 3/21/2021 |
bossa, lego football where all the pieces fit into place, and again messi arrives like a ghost through the fog.Ray Hudson Raw: A Banner Year for Spanish Football
what I haven't done is deliver any glowing tributes towards FC Barcelona, tata martino or any blow grana player, and yet it is barsa that could arrive like a ghost through a fog to win La Liga yet again. Unbelievable.
Simile Sentence Distance Methods
I next want to see how similar in structure Ray Hudson’s similes are. Who cares how many different nouns and verbs he can use, if all Hudson does is espouse them in some same cookiecutter format, he is no literary genius in my book.
I choose to check this by using a BERT model to transform our simile sentences into machine-readable, numerical word embedding vectors. With these word embeddings, I can then measure the cosine distance between each simile and all the other similes mentioned. This cosine distance value will represent how “different” one simile is from another. Low magnitudes mean that sentences are very similar, while high magnitudes mean sentences are quite different. It should be noted that this is not an exact method of quantifying how “different” two similes are exactly due to the usual caviots when it comes to machine learning and NLP methods. However, it is a pretty good high-level way to see things from a quantitative standpoint.
I compute the cosine similarities from each simile to all the other similes used. I end up with the following arrays where 0 is extraordinarily dissimilar and 1 is exactly the same (note that the max value is actually greater than 1 due to some rounding stuff):
Simile Sentence Distance Results
I can plot a correlation matrix of all the similes and their similarities to one another. There are around 70 similes, so this correlation matrix is quite cramped. You can download a high res image below.
Here are all the similes in order of where they appear on the correlation matrix:
**he follows on and the angle is actually narrower in this halo of a footballer, again tonight's looking like a shark that's been in a fish tank for a week.
**off like a jack rabbit on a hot date as the whites break and absolutely stretch out barcelona like spandex on miami beach.
**it's like away: [Applause] 56 degrees as the rain and wind pick up.
**and again messi arrives like a ghost through the fog.
**and then messi again, like a bloodhound under the center of a goal and it touches softness, candlelight to finish it off.
**he leaves the defender with twisted blood on his turn and he's got options left and right, but he needs help like a shark needs a dentist.
**but with such it's like a knife thrower at the circus, just beautifully, incredibly accurate to step through.
**five in the wall and it looks like a skirt to boot.
**first of all, and once it gets to messi, he needs help like a shark needs a dentist.
**is just attached to the ball like a teenager to his cell phone and putting the goalkeeper on his back like a turtle.
**one look up the big bulging french eyes and then a slingshot home and they were coming at him like a shower of arrows in his back.
**five in the wall, and it looks like a skirt to boot.
**the creation is spelled by me here, twisting and turning like an alligator with an itch, and he detonates this one again.
**and that looks like a penalty.
**you take that element out of the one, The Mikado, and that has to hurt teams like Atletico in Valencia, more so than other teams that don't quite depend that much on the home-field advantage.
**I think they're the more the more talented teams among this crop that we're talking about, the teams that have like a more plumbing closer to their finished product, and I want desperately to add hit Ave to that list.
**McGinnis and I became very good friends and I missed you like a brother.
**Benzema tries, but over the bar, lovely, looked at a dropping ball and that's his dynamic rate, concentrated like a hungry halt on the ball.
**Magisterial- look at gridiron unis, the look like a young man's met kind of the lesser basketball: sweaty armpits everywhere the baseball lives.
**when a team scores, I could like a complete and total maniac, a possess mad man, screaming with a purple fish and veins popping from the neck, kissing complete strangers, yelling as if my hair was unfair, crying tears the size of pineapple chunks, enjoy a feeling of sheer spontaneous jubilation and it felt, make very sure was banging on my ribcage to get out in a moment of unbridled rapture.
**perhaps it's an almost to snort, but it calls your tears and pulls your eyes out like a magnet.
**the baby saidman, 8 year old father will, who was in a bad way- amazingly the word dads pull through like a locomotive train and he's out of hospital and back to his old tricks in the nursing home.
**boss has not a room after this game will be like an Aladdin's Cave, but recently they've been more like lumps of coal.
**zinedine zidane Madrid have suffered even more injuries and yet have roared the wave like a Hawaiian surfer mushroom in their belief in one another, then being fortunate on the way.
**I was right and I swung around my living room like a spider monkey.
**well, me Mom party like a Brazilian.
**the first half Sevilla was playing like arguably the best team on the planet.
**he may not play dice with the universe, like Albert Einstein said, but man does he like a good belly laugh seeing these so-called heavenly- please miss absolute bloody sitters?
**Sharia maldini, but Izzy, I'll has a memory, like a bear trap.
**I saw kubala play, smiling like a Cheshire cat.
**Isaac Newton said he was like a boy at the seashore, playing with pebbles and shells, whilst the great portion of truth Leah undiscovered before me.
**it's been way too long since we saw that consistently impressive performances from hammers, like we did in the World Cup, and Carlo Ancelotti: we shine like a diamond.
**then they visit gij�n, in celta vigo, where they got stuffed like a turkey on Thanksgiving for one last season.
**ours is a game where fan power can suck the ball into the net against all the odds again, where, when your team loses a really big match, the pangs of misery and hard egg is like no other feeling you'll ever know: a crushing spirit, draining hurt that hangs around you like a necklace of sledgehammers.
**after carrying Argentina like a lion with its cub in its mouth to three consecutive championship finals in foreign all, Leonel Messi is pulling the curtain down on his international career.
**I like a good claret, fermented beautifully by sean daesh.
**he blended his fruity footballers like a Marston, a vintner.
**a fearsome predator, a bird of prey like a peregrine falcon, and also a stupendously glorious peacock, magnificent in its spectacular display of plumage, and that's King to me.
**an own goal in four weeks, 11-point lead, flushed down the wazoo to less than 0. less than zero because boss are now in free fall like a skydiver whose Poland frantically on the rip cord in the parachute won't open.
**when second place middlesbrough had their panties taken down and got spanked by Jordan athletic who was second bottom for a fanatical, kiya Marie was bawling like a baby in need of a serious day by kids / baby remembereth.
**club gaza, like ajax, your best name, and football that beat six top team cap in Syria.
**no night Irishman Christy Brown was looking down and probably laughing like a dolphin.
**the French legend is in charge of the Bernabeu, like Ancelotti.
**and for four days, and flippin Nate's have been wrestling with this like a greco-roman with an alligator.
**it's like asking a bird not to fly.
**you're still probably shaking your head in disbelief that super mario balotelli of all people came this close a number of times in that amazing finale to the match, or you'll be jumping up and down like a cheerleader on a trampoline over the way.
**fast, Freddy, worrying, stare home that winner like a Ferrari at Monza, Bella, Bella.
**Turan was off like a prom dress.
**he should fit right in the boss's botanical midfield like a cuckoo in a Swiss clock.
**Letty, Pogba and UV, all horses of a distinctly different color, all like a shade of mirror.
**let me be perfectly clear on this one: the whole departure was nothing less than an insult to a player who, in arguably, produced more trophies over more years for Real Madrid than any other player in their glorious history, and he was treated at the end like a pauper, not the gladiator that he was and still is.
**bewitching is candle eight in their constant surveillance of the pitch, with necks like an owl and eyes of a tiger.
**pressures par for the course in both clubs, where pressure like a pair of carpet slippers, so pressure isn't an issue.
**the penalty box even sounds like a tale to a horror movie produced by the man in black.
**tension so palpable like a couple of gunslingers on a dusty, Wild West Street.
**doesn't leave too much but like a rainbow and a damp tear its splendor.
**against real sociedad, the santiago bernab�u will be like an enormous studio 54 on saturday, innate steroids when the disco ball mirrors, all the flashy Galacticos flare.
**last season, seining Gareth Bale for a new wool transfer record sure doesn't look like a gamble.
**so now we know what a Formula One race car driver feels like after crossing the finishing lane.
**the pure entertainment level has been undeniable, the thrills and spills flowing like a burst fire hydrant.
**God's a great reader even now, at 95, and one of the great lanes he read to me they grabbed my imagination like a steel bear trap, was it was the best of times.
**what I haven't done is deliver any glowing tributes towards FC Barcelona, tata martino or any blow grana player, and yet it is barsa that could arrive like a ghost through a fog to win La Liga yet again.
**when the world cup starts, the market will be buzzin like a hornet's nest.
**nothing sends me amors like a lamb corner.
**his Morton passion makes vesuvius look like a Chinese firecracker.
**this is like a penalty kick to the Brazilians.
**the pressure on big fills Brazil will be unlike anything any other team has ever experienced.
**but I believe they'll wear that pressure like a Cartier diamond pendant necklace Eldorado.
**dynamic Jews, a rare in dazzling combination that come along once in a very real way, but when they do, the late of the black sky like an electrical storm.
**there's nothing Tweedledum and Tweedledee about them and, like Alice after that cake that you eat, they just keep getting taller and taller and stronger.
For some more numerical looks, lets filter for embeddings with relations of various magnitudes. Let’s start with similarity magnitudes greater than 0.7. Analyzing these, we see that there are 64 total similes that have a similarity score greater than 0.7 to others. Note that there are 2450 total relations (though in the correlation matrix, it looks like 4900, I count relations of the form a->b, b->a as a single relation, as their cosine distance is the exact same).
An example of one of these highly related similes is:
**he follows on and the angle is actually narrower in this halo of a footballer, again tonight's looking like a shark that's been in a fish tank for a week.
**he leaves the defender with twisted blood on his turn and he's got options left and right, but he needs help like a shark needs a dentist.If we just read these sentences, we observe that these structures are highly similar, and even the nouns used in the simile are similar. Now, it should be expected that similes will have fairly similar sentence structures and thus will have generally higher scores, but this is pretty cookiecutter-like.
I can go even higher. Pushing the threshold up to 0.8, we have 14 relations. Cranking it even further to 0.9, we observe 2 relations. Let’s look at both of these:
**he leaves the defender with twisted blood on his turn and he's got options left and right, but he needs help like a shark needs a dentist.
**first of all, and once it gets to messi, he needs help like a shark needs a dentist.** when a team scores, I could like a complete and total maniac, a possess mad man, screaming with a purple fish and veins popping from the neck, kissing complete strangers, yelling as if my hair was unfair, crying tears the size of pineapple chunks, enjoy a feeling of sheer spontaneous jubilation and it felt, make very sure was banging on my ribcage to get out in a moment of unbridled rapture.
** ours is a game where fan power can suck the ball into the net against all the odds again, where, when your team loses a really big match, the pangs of misery and hard egg is like no other feeling you'll ever know: a crushing spirit, draining hurt that hangs around you like a necklace of sledgehammers.The first case is one of the repeated similes we uncovered. The second one is much more interesting. It is a much longer monologue of sorts, but it features extraordinarily similar cadence and dramatization in adjectives. The short clauses of phrase – comma – phrase – comma show up very often, and they flow in a very similar manner.
Honestly, at this point, I’m ready to conclude that Ray Hudson is a fraud that repeats similes and uses a lot of repetitive cookiecutter sentence structures. However, I are not even all the way in yet. I still have to perform metaphor analysis. Perhaps this will be the final nail in the coffin for Ray Hudson.
Metaphor Analysis Methods
Metaphor analysis is tough. There is a decent body of research out there with varying degrees of complexity, none of which provide exact results. However, I have a nice advantage in that I am not really looking for a generalizable method of detecting metaphors. All I need is a method that can detect metaphors explicitly in Ray Hudson commentary tracks. I can probably use some heuristics. Furthermore, I don’t have to be exactly accurate. I can make my method overly narrow so that I detect the majority of metaphors while disallowing other stuff from leaking in. All I need is a cross-section for analysis and all I need to prove is that Hudson overlaps metaphors sometimes.
Let’s start with some basic heuristics and build them out. I know that when a metaphor is used, a noun or pronoun will be compared to another noun. Furthermore, there will probably be some form of “is” in the middle. “He is a brilliant star in the night sky”, “The submarine was a hippo in the deep”. I also know that if there is a verb sandwiched between those two nouns, than it cannot be a metaphor. So I can start out with that sentence structure as a filter. Now of course, this is not going to perfectly grab out all the metaphors, as lots of other sentences abide by the form “noun” + “is” + “noun”, so I will need more filtering.
Since Ray Hudson is a soccer commentator, he will most likely be comparing sports and human related terms to other nouns. “That pass was a peach”, “Messi is an alien”. I see here “Messi”, a man, and “pass”, a sports term, is compared to dissimilar nouns. This is important, as I can go on to assume that the first noun (“Messi” or “pass”) will be fairly different from the second noun (“peach” or “pass”). Furthermore, we also know that the first noun is something that will be commonly spoken by Hudson. This is another important fact.
The first test I decide to do is a TF-IDF term statistic. TF-IDF stands for term frequency-inverse document frequency. It reflects how important and often a term is in a corpus. In this instance, our corpus is all of Hudson’s transcripts. I am betting that terms like “pass”, “shot”, “Messi”, “Ronaldo”, etc. will have a high weighting value, whereas the tail-end of the metaphor, terms like “peach” and “alien”, will have a relatively low frequency value. Thus perhaps I can map each term to a TF-IDF score and retain sentences where there is a high difference between the first noun and the second noun. This method is also nice since we can parse out more generic soccer phrases like “This is a show of class” or “That was a rocket” in favor of Ray Hudson’s stranger terms, which are what we seek to analyze in the first place. One thing to note is that I stem all the words (reduce them to their very basic morphological form) so that words such as “running” and “run” are counted as one word and weighted in TF-IDF accordingly.
Since our dataset isn’t that massive, I can also do some manual cleaning at the end. Even if our method isn’t clean enough, I can count word frequencies and simply remove the terms that are obviously not strange metaphors in the end.
Let’s first start by sorting out our data with the sentence filter I’ve described above. This is the workflow I will take:
- Look for all nouns in a sentence, look for all verbs in the sentence, look for all “is” and related forms in a sentence
- Generate a sliding frame of noun pairs
- Check if there is an is between each noun pair and check if there is not a verb between each noun pair, if successful retain the noun pair
- Return the noun pairs and return the text containing the noun pairs and everything in between them
With some part of speech tagging and some messy indexing, I get the following output:
You can see that although I’ve filtered out large chunks of the transcript, there are still some offenders like “It’s a wonderful run” and “He’s who”. However, I now have a nice template for our next step of using TF-IDF. I map each noun in each noun pair to its TF-IDF value and filter for noun pairs that have a TF-IDF value difference of over 0.1. I run the analysis and get back a nice batch of words with a good amount of overlap. I check word frequencies and then clean out a couple of sport related terms and athlete names.
I also loosen the restraints on the sentence filter and simply look for sequential nouns that are highly differential. Combining this results and also looping in all of the similes I found from the previous analysis, I get some shocking results…
Metaphor + Simile Analysis Results
I find some more horrific overlaps. The first offender is ZAMBONI
Real Madrid vs Barcelona | LALIGA HIGHLIGHTS | 4/10/2021 |
classical hasn't offered up too much classic football other than the benzema wundergall as a masterpiece of team football really was exceptional and the finish smoother than zamboni.Barcelona vs Huesca | LALIGA HIGHLIGHTS | 3/15/2021 |
well, this one is smoother than a zamboni, smoother than a zomboni phil.What are you talking about Ray? Zambonis aren’t smooth, the ice that they drive through is smooth. Unbelievable.
Then, I see multiple “pressure – diamond” repeats.
Ray Hudson Raw: Lionel Messi, Iker Casillas Showing Grace Under Pressure
there again, it's pressure that makes diamonds.Ray Hudson Raw - Brazil Are the Favorites
the pressure on big fills Brazil will be unlike anything any other team has ever experienced, but I believe they'll wear that pressure like a Cartier diamond pendant necklace Eldorado or with you at your world cup samba boys you.FC Barcelona 5 - 2 Real Betis - HIGHLIGHTS & GOALS - (11/7/2020)
leo knows the pressure griezmann does as well. pressure makes diamonds.PEACOCK is a surprise offender
Ray Hudson's Best Reactions Vol. 2: El Clásico
it's a wonderful run, passed by verdi, beautiful ball, but benzema absolutely pulls a peacock out of his hat. Ray Hudson Raw - The Nutmeg
still, when the nutmeg peacock is pulled out of the magician's hat, we gasp because it's a flash of genius and worth the price of admission itself. He also reuses JESSICA RABBIT
Ray Hudson vs Fernando Fiore Calling Goals
perfect, perfection, fine hell. who stares at home with more curve and swerve the Jessica Rabbit, magnifico, Oh, strolling Rui hell, Wow, Wow, okay, are you ready for yours? Ray Hudson Raw: The Miss
imagine 50,000 Jessica rabbits bouncing up and down. Ray Hudson Raw: The Best XI of 2015
it's like faking Pavarotti into his speed or Jessica Rabbit into an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny yellow polka-dot bikini. Ray Hudson Raw - Referees Need Geometry Lessons!
I think I want the spread lane to have a curve about it like Jessica Rabbit.After a quick search, I find who Jessica Rabbit is:
According to the WIkipedia Page, Jessica Rabbit is “one of the best-known sex symbols in animation”. The above phrases Hudson uses become a bit more concerning with this in mind…
Hudson isn’t only a fan of rabbit cartoon characters, he also loves to talk about regular rabbits.
Sports Burst - Ray Hudson's UCL Final Prediction
it's leaving open an area on the wings where bayern munich have been phenomenal down both flanks and not just because of the incredible uh jack rabbit pace of uh fonzie davis uh but on the other side as well.Ray Hudson Raw - Screaming His Name
so near mar (pretty sure this is Neymar) with that Jackrabbit pierce of his, is going to create all sorts of torments. Barcelona vs Getafe | LA LIGA HIGHLIGHTS | 4/22/2021 |
messi, quicker than a jack rabbit on a hot, did under this visionary pass from busy.Ray Hudson's Best Reactions Vol. 2: El Clásico
off like a jack rabbit on a hot date as the whites break and absolutely stretch out barcelona like spandex on miami beach.There are more. A lot more. Its sickening to look at. I think this is enough evidence to draw conclusions from.
Conclusions
Ray Hudson is no literary genius. He is but a simpleton, repeating similes and metaphors without any care for originality or innovation. He isn’t dishing these out on the spot, coming up with new ones impromptu. He’s just an over-dramatic commentator spewing the same words from yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that. Ray Hudson is just an ordinary man. An ordinary man that strokes out whenever Messi does a stepover (or maybe body feint is more appropriate in this case).
Furthermore, it ought to be noted that this analysis is only done on a small subset of highlight and interview transcripts. We don’t even have the full set of commentary tracks or all of the games he actually commentates for. The full picture is probably much much worse. I can’t even begin to fathom the amount of repetitions that I would discover if I had access to every single match Hudson has ever commentated.
Dylan and I were right. Ray Hudson is a fraud.
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